Credit: Scott Robinson

Credit: Scott Robinson

I can’t say that I ever remember having an actual nightmare about my rape. Terrible thoughts at night while in bed, definitely. Nightmares involving my rapist, certainly. But not the rape itself. For this I am extremely grateful. I know several fellow survivors for whom this is a chronic symptom. I suppose I am lucky.

This year, I even managed to escape the “first day of school” nightmares. Ask any teacher, and you will find that this is a yearly occurrence. Panicked dreams where you open the classroom to find More

Who Knew?

It turns out that I am a better human being than I may have thought.  Here is a revelation that I found out this past week:

I do not actually wish my rapist dead.

Good to know! Yay, me! More





***Trigger Warnings: suicide, mental illness***

It has taken me awhile to write this post.  I apologize for the length. It involves a long journey into my past and it was hard to get my feelings in order.  I will have to share some more of my story with you for you to understand.

It has taken me a long time,  but I have wrestled most of my demons into a fairly peaceful place.  They are always with me, sitting off in the corner as I go about my daily business.  But we have reached a tenuous truce.  They can sit on the couch with me watching the TV, but I control the remote.  Every so often, however, they lash out unexpectedly and change the station.  We begin the battle all over again.  More

People You May Know

What do you do when your rapist shows up on your Facebook feed?  Thankfully, mine is not on Facebook.  But his friends are.  His coworkers.  A mutual friend once told me, “Mark says hi! He asks how you are doing?”  That was one of the most triggering things anyone has ever said  to me.  It reminded me that he was still out there, living his life, going to work, chatting with friends.  People were his friends. People who didn’t know what he was.

This video is is very powerful.  Watch with care.  The poet’s bravery shines through.

The accompanying article tells his story.

The Far-reaching Effects of Domestic Violence

University of New England Online

It’s Important!!


The Obligatory NaNoWriMo Blog Post

So…I’m trying this NaNoWriMo thing again!

In which Aimee loses her mind, yet again.

In which Aimee loses her mind, yet again.

If you’ve been reading for quite some time, you may remember that I NaNo’d two years ago.  It was the first I had ever heard of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month for those of you who may not know) and I was very excited.  While I did not write the requisite 50,000 words, I did indeed write around 10,000.  I felt pretty darned good about that.

Then the following year, I tried NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month or something like that) where you vow to write a blog post each day throughout the month of November.  This was more successful, and I think I posted 26 posts out of the 30 days.

What I found out doing Nano the first time was that I am totally not prepared to write an actual novel.  So I’m bending the extremely flexible Nano rules this time and writing a collection of short stories.  This suits my writing style better and I feel I will be much more successful.

I won’t go on and on, but keep your eye on the widget in the sidebar.  It should update my wordcount throughout the month.  I’ve got 1800 or so words for this first day.  Anyone care to join me????

Aimee (who you may or may not hear from for the next 30 days!)


Tiny Victories

***Trigger Warning for school violence and shootings***

It’s been a challenging two weeks.  I found triggers in unexpected places and I found that I had the strength to ride them out.

It started with a staff meeting at school.  If you have not been in a school in a while, we have a variety of emergency drills that never existed when I was a child.  In addition to the fire and tornado drills of my childhood, we now have lock-down drills.  These are further subdivided into “internal threat”, “external threat” and the terrifying “imminent threat”.  This is what was being discussed at the meeting.  I have participated in these drills before.  I have taken a group of children and had them hide in a closet sitting in complete silence as we pretend that there is an intruder in the building.  They never bothered me before. More

Survival Looks Good on You

I saw this on Facebook this morning and I really liked it.  Let us all hope that one day we can wear our survival gracefully.  Thank you all for surviving and standing with me as I try.  I am standing with all of you. Have a great week everyone!


Previous Older Entries


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 293 other followers

%d bloggers like this: