A “letter” from a rapist to Conservative politicians

I read this today:  “A Fan Letter to Certain Conservative Politicians“, written by John Scalzi.  John warns that the letter will be triggery and does an excellent job of moderating the comments, realizing that such a topic is likely to lead to very upsetting comments.

John’s “letter” is told from the fictional point of view of a rapist, thanking that particular new breed of politician who seem to be bending over backward to take away the rights of women.  He focuses on how rape is a crime of power and control, and how the policies of these politicians are actually giving the rapists more control over their victims.  It’s obviously a satire, but it’s spot on.

The new post I’m working on right now is about just this…the powerlessness and loss of control we feel as survivors.  It is so upsetting to me to have to fight these battles with not only the politicians, but with my conservative friends.  Just this morning, I posted something to Facebook about how the current Republican candidate and his team are taking women backward.  I stated that I could not understand how women are voting for these people.  One of my friends commented back that I was being “brainwashed” by the liberal media.  I explained to her…a woman who supports these policies…that I am an informed voter.  I never ever trust the ads and blogs that I read without going directly to the source…videos of these people actually speaking these words out loud.  I always assume that the news/ad/blog has somehow exaggerated their claims and that no one could possibly have said these words without somehow being taken out of context.  However, more and more often this year, I am finding that these politicians are indeed speaking these words and defending them vehemently.  It saddens me more than I can say.

I think I’ll send her this letter.  I doubt I’ll change her mind.

What do you say to your friends who support people who support these policies?  I know my readers come from all kinds of backgrounds, and some may be conservatives.  But most of you are survivors or friends of survivors.  What can I tell my friend that may help her see the light?  What she is actually doing to herself and her daughters when she casts that vote a week from Tuesday?  I fear I may actually have to “come out of the closet” so to speak, as a survivor, and tell my story so that people will understand why this upsets me so.

8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. unladylikemusings
    Oct 28, 2012 @ 01:58:44

    I don’t know that convincing a friend to see the error of her ways is the best reason to “come out” as a survivor. Your story may be minimized or seen as nothing more than trying to convert someone. Neither should happen. You should share your story if, when, and how you want to. It shouldn’t have to become possible fodder to “feed the trolls.” Pardon the expression as I realize this person is your friend and probably not a troll. But I am in much of the same boat and have no great answers for your unfortunately, other than protect your story as it is part of you. Treating it lightly may lead to more pain.


    • Aimee
      Oct 28, 2012 @ 14:41:34

      You make some excellent points, Musings. I must admit, I zipped off this post pretty quickly after reading the letter. Probably, with that friend, I might resort to the “I have a friend who was raped and she feels…”, which I’ve done in the past. I guess I’m thinking more along the lines of closer friends and family, some of whom are voting for these people. They may be connecting the dots themselves because I get very vocal about this particular issue. And usually, the political issues I speak passionately about are those that are affecting me personally…education issues, things that affect the poor, union rights, etc. They are probably starting to wonder why I get so vocal about the rape stituation. I probably won’t share, but it’s something to think about. Would my Dad really vote for Paul Ryan if he knew the whole story?


      • unladylikemusings
        Oct 28, 2012 @ 21:48:25

        Gosh, your last remark made me stop cold as I think about my own family, dad in particular. But how does one even begin that conversation? Which is what you’re asking I guess….

  2. Melanie
    Oct 28, 2012 @ 11:14:06

    I was listening to a woman defend her choice to vote for Romney. She was arguing healthcare. Right now she doesn’t pay for that benefit. She says the company plans to pay the penalty instead of the benefit if Obama is re-elected. So, she would rather vote for Romney and loose the flexibility of her care to keep it free than have to pay for care which would actually protect her. I just don’t get it.


  3. Aimee
    Oct 28, 2012 @ 14:51:52

    I can see people not wanting to have to pay for their health care, but there are so many deeper issues at work here. Romney will cut Planned Parenthood, which provides so many needed services to poor women. I saw somewhere that abortions were only 7% of their total services (can’t verify that figure, I may be wrong). I work with desperately poor families and they so need the healthcare coming from anywhere they can get it. I would gladly pay more for my healthcare in order to see poor women and children get it.

    They want to redefine rape to be “forcible rape”, which would call into question such situations as date rape, spousal rape, drugged rape. My rape happened because of a culture of fear that had been established. He didn’t hold a gun to my head. I probably could have fought back and delayed the rape, but I was afraid of what would happen if I did. Was that forcible? I think so, but would a judge?

    Many of these politicians don’t support equal pay for equal work…what!!! There are so many issues. I saw a right wing politician (can’t remember his name) speaking about how the Bible shows us that women should not be in positions of authority over men. Not only is this a misunderstanding of the Bible, but really, this is 2012.


  4. Leah
    Oct 29, 2012 @ 01:09:50

    Reblogged this on Burning Bridges and commented:
    I struggle with this as well. When to tell, and how can “you” vote for that man. Thanks for the great post Aimee.
    PS be sure to click the link. Ubber, major trigger warnings, but its brilliant.


  5. Aimee
    Oct 30, 2012 @ 21:58:24

    Musings, I wouldn’t know how to begin that conversation, so I’m thinking it will go unsaid. I want to protect him from that. As a parent, I would feel horrible to think something like that happened to my child and I couldn’t have prevented it. Parent guilt. And I want to spare him that.


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