Halloween Ghosts…

It has been a while since I have posted part of my story.  I have many new followers who may not have gone back far enough in my posts to read my story.  For those of you who are new, and may want to read my history, check here, and here, and here.

My relationship with Mark was always a turbulent one.  Looking back, I can see so many warning signs.  There were several episodes that in hindsight I can recognize as precursors to the rape that was to come.  One of these was a Halloween party.  So what better day to share this particular detail with you.  This day illustrates so well the attitude that Mark had toward me–his lack of regard for my feelings, his controlling nature, his cocky self-assurance, and his complete belief that I would acquiesce to anything he asked.  Sit down, get comfortable, and let me tell you a Halloween tale…

Mark and I had been invited to a Halloween party at the home of one of his friends.  More

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Poetry that tears the soul

It’s been an incredibly busy week. Busy in a wonderful way, but busy nonetheless. I finally had a chance to go through the 98 emails that were in my inbox and found this clip on Unladylike Musings.  It’s slam poetry and this man’s passion and words went right to my heart.  I was in tears before it was over.  Very powerful stuff.

(Trigger warnings as usual)

Off-topic Comment About My General Disillusionment With the World Around Me

I generally go grocery shopping on Saturdays, and generally this is a pretty major non-event.  I buy some things, I unpack some things, we can eat for a week.  No biggie.  But yesterday, my weekly shopping trip turned into an upsetting display of white privilege, racism, classism…probably some other “isms” of which I am unaware.  And it is still bothering me.

Here’s a little background.  I live in a pleasant suburb on the outskirts of a major metropolitan area–about a 20 minute drive from the downtown area.  This city is noted for its extreme poverty and general level of decay.  More

12 Ways to Support a Survivor of Abuse

Some great tips for how to help if a friend or loved one is a survivor. So often, we just don’t know the right things to say.

Purposefully Scarred

Tips for Being a Good Support Person (from The Healing Center, full article linked above):

1. Listen. Listen. Listen.

Try not to interrupt or overreact with your own thoughts and feelings. You may need to process your own reactions with someone to support you too. Most importantly, the survivor needs you to “be there” for her/him. Let them know that you are open to hearing anything they wish to share, and that although it’s painful and upsetting, you are willing to enter those difficult places with them and to receive their words with respect. Ask how you can be of help in the healing process and honor the answer. Acknowledge and validate the survivor’s feelings. If you have feelings of outrage, compassion, pain for their pain, do share them. There is probably nothing more comforting than a genuine human response. Just make sure your feelings don’t overwhelm theirs.

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