When I first started this blog a year and a half ago, I had big plans for building a place for rape survivors to connect and share their stories. But in reality I didn’t expect anyone to read what I had to say.
Right away, I got 2 followers. I don’t know who you are, but you were so inspiring to me. Just knowing that someone…anyone…had read something I had written and connected with it was amazing to me. I sat and grinned. Soon I had 5 followers, then 10. I hovered around 10 for quite some time. I was content.
Then something amazing happened. People started reading my words and printing wonderful comments. I was reblogged. A year ago I did not know what in the world that even was. People “linked” to me and said my words were powerful and beautiful.
Unbelievable. I am the girl who hid her journals and notebooks under sweaters in the back of the closet so that even my husband wouldn’t find them. I was that afraid of sharing my writing and who I was.
This month, while I wasn’t looking, in the flurry of back-to-school nonsense, my follower count crept over 100. That is a number I never dreamed I would reach back when I first hit that publish button. When I first noticed the big 3-digit milestone I was thrilled.
Then it sank in. Almost all of those 100 people are also survivors of rape and sexual abuse. These are my online friends. I read their words daily. They read mine. We have bonded in this past year. And they have been through horrible, horrible things. It breaks my heart that there are 100 of us. 100 seems like such a lot of people. 100 people would fill my church. 100 people could not fit in my house if we tried. It shatters my heart when I think that 100 represents an infinitesimally small fraction of ALL the rape survivors walking in the world today.
Thank you for taking this journey with me, all 114 of you. You have no idea how this blog has changed me for the better. You give me your strength. I am just so very sorry that you all have to be travelling this path as well. Much love to you!