Isn’t it the truth?

Whispers

The Journey of a New Year

Happy New Year!

 

 

As 2015 came to a close, many social media sites provide users “Year in Review” type documents. Facebook showed me my year in photos. It is always fun to look back at friends and family. Goodreads showed me the many books that I read in 2015. I exceeded my Reading Challenge Goal, and got to see what all of my friends have been reading. My “to read” list is getting longer by the second, I am afraid.
 

But then I got my WordPress Year in Review. This was very disappointing to me. Apparently, I have only written seven posts this year. I must apologize for that. There are several reasons for my lack of writing. On the negative side, my life at work has been extremely emotionally draining this year. This leaves me exhausted at the end of the day. I often am left with only the energy to curl up on the couch and play Candy Crush. On the positive side, when I do have energy I have been involved in a lot of fiction writing, which is taking my creative energy away from the blog. This is a good thing! I am trying to nurture my creative side as I get to “a certain age” and find myself thinking of what my next steps in life might be.

The Hunting Ground

CNN is airing the documentary, “The Hunting Ground” tonight at 8:00. It’s about sexual assault on college campuses. I am about to watch it. I’ll let you know my thoughts afterward.

Nightmares

Credit: Scott Robinson

I can’t say that I ever remember having an actual nightmare about my rape. Terrible thoughts at night while in bed, definitely. Nightmares involving my rapist, certainly. But not the rape itself. For this I am extremely grateful. I know several fellow survivors for whom this is a chronic symptom. I suppose I am lucky.

This year, I even managed to escape the “first day of school” nightmares. Ask any teacher, and you will find that this is a yearly occurrence. Panicked dreams where you open the classroom to find

Who Knew?

It turns out that I am a better human being than I may have thought.  Here is a revelation that I found out this past week:

I do not actually wish my rapist dead.

Good to know! Yay, me!

Dignity

People You May Know

What do you do when your rapist shows up on your Facebook feed?  Thankfully, mine is not on Facebook.  But his friends are.  His coworkers.  A mutual friend once told me, “Mark says hi! He asks how you are doing?”  That was one of the most triggering things anyone has ever said  to me.  It reminded me that he was still out there, living his life, going to work, chatting with friends.  People were his friends. People who didn’t know what he was.

This video is is very powerful.  Watch with care.  The poet’s bravery shines through.

The accompanying article tells his story.

Survival Looks Good on You

I saw this on Facebook this morning and I really liked it.  Let us all hope that one day we can wear our survival gracefully.  Thank you all for surviving and standing with me as I try.  I am standing with all of you. Have a great week everyone!

A Roller Coaster of Emotions

Happiness, terror, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, relief, a bit of nausea…that sums up my weekend.  Coupled by quite a bit of excitement and disappointment.

photo credit: Ben Hodgson via photopin cc

No, I did not ride the newest coaster at Cedar Point (although I would really love to do that!) I got together all of my courage and I told my mother about my rape.  After 32 years.